


Last Time

by Hongbinstaekwoon



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang is mentioned, Adultery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/M, Happy Ending, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Romantic Angst, Slight Kink Warning, Zutara, at least if you only take ATLA, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:40:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27998403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hongbinstaekwoon/pseuds/Hongbinstaekwoon
Summary: Everytime it happened, Zuko swore it would be the last time. So why was he back in her arms once again, in that same room with the girl he had known for so long now?
Relationships: Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 85





	1. 1/2

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions of adultary, intercouse and kinks.  
> Main couple: Zuko x Katara (Zutara)
> 
> Original story was also written by me on asianfanfics: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1056571/last-time 
> 
> Disclaimer:
> 
> I don't own neither Avatar the Last Airbender or any of the characters in the story. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought, but plagiarism of the story is strictly prohibited. This is for entertainement purposes only.
> 
> This is a work of fiction and fictional representations of fictional characters. None of the events are true and the storyline itself is entirely made by me. No profit was made from this work.

Somewhere in the busy streets Caldera city, a man laid in a familiar bed, next to another sleeping form equally as familiar. The sheets were loosely wrapped around their bodies, air still musk and heavy with the occurrences of last night - a mistake he seemed to always make. The weak sunlight fell on them, waking him up in the process. He sighed and shielded his eyes with one hand, his other still tightly secured around the other occupant of the bed. They should’ve closed the curtains better last night, but that wasn’t what their minds were set on in the slightest.

“Katara..” He gently shook the woman snuggled up against him and he saw her eyes flutter open, face still as perfect as it was for as long as he could remember. The mentioned smiled and lazily closed her eyes again, shifting closer to him in his embrace.

"Good morning, Zuko.” Zuko smiled back before leaning his temple against the other's and caressed her cheek with his thumb, softly rubbing circles on the skin that was darker than his own, wonderfully contrasting in tones as he admired it. But his eyebrows furrowed, a painful expression creeping onto his usually stoic features. The guilt of his actions was once again sinking in for the- he lost track of how many times it happened himself. And that fact alone made him loath himself even more intensely than he already did.

He gazed at the brunette who seemed to rather enjoy this moment. She thought about how this gentle version of Zuko could possibly be the man who she was begging for to stop last night since it was too much, too intense. Her body still felt heavy underneath the strain he put her in last night, but she didn’t mind it one bit. Because he could take over her body like no one else ever could and knew how to abuse his power until tears of pleasure were staining her cheeks. It was _their_ unspoken agreement, _their_ rules to their escapades.

Katara’s train of thoughts was interrupted with his attempt to turn over, tilting her head off of his shoulder so he actually could and take his schedule off of the nightstand. It was a habit he picked up after meeting her, as he would be so enthralled and consumed by everything that was her, he forgot every responsibility he had the following day. After stumbling into his throne room, advisors having waited around for him for more then an hour, he vowed to not let himself be so irresponsible anymore.

Zuko stayed laying on his other side with his back towards his supposed to be friend, the ambassador he was hosting in his castle, laying behind him, now snuggled up against his back and with her arms wrapped around his waist. Her fingertips played lazily on his abdomen, drawing circles across the defined muscles as she pressed her temple in between his shoulder blades. Zuko didn't mind, since it shouldn't mean anything, Katara has always been responsive to touch as well as initiated it. He shouldn’t be feeling as content as he did whenever she searched out for him specifically, whenever she fell asleep in his arms and whenever her feather light touch sent shivers down his spine.

He sighed and unrolled his scroll to see who he should be meeting as soon as he left, his heart stopping at the name that appeared on it.

_Mai._

He gulped down the lump that has formed in his throat and prayed for the nth time that, Mai didn't know. Every time he spent the night with Katara at this specific inn, he would have to face his wife. The firelady. And just like always, Zuko was afraid she found out about him being unfaithful to her. He roamed his eyes over the planned activity with a heavy lump in his throat, heartbeat thumping in his ears. How was he supposed to face her right after this? How was he supposed to show her that he loved her, when his actions said otherwise?

Before Zuko could respond, he could feel feather light kisses on his shoulder and a voice whispering into his ear.

“Do you have to go back?” He knew that Katara was trying to refrain from showing any dread in her voice, just because she knew how easily he would be affected by it. Zuko laid his scroll back on the nightstand without saying anything and turned back to Katara again, rolling them over so he was on top of her. She immediately accepted his oncoming kiss, sighing against his lips as she felt the tension from before slowly release from her body. Zuko instantly deepened it sinfully passionate. There was something about Katara's lips that made him forget about Mai, about his responsibilities. As soon as her lips touched his, demanding instead of requesting his attention, he figured his brain didn’t get a chance to.

Zuko knew that what he was doing was wrong – wat they both were doing was wrong. He knew it all too well. Whenever Zuko would be with Mai, all he thought about was how everything with Katara was rougher, more passionate, more _intense_ \- how he himself could make this beautiful woman look so disheveled in return. He loved it.

_But he didn't love Katara, he loved Mai._

_Didn’t he?_

Katara knew about Mai, knew her personally for longer than she cared to admit. She herself was taken as well, just as married of a woman as Mai was. Both their significant others were catalysts for the end of this war, both individually as important to keep the ongoing peace. But she couldn't stay away from the other, the fire lord that had his alliance with the Avatar. Maybe because said Avatar was never home for her to cater to, always having to put the needs of others above hers. Was never receptive to her ideas, never took her as important as anything else around him. Maybe that's why Zuko offered to take care of her all those months ago, that faithful night they broke their promises to their partners and relished in the purely physical connection only they shared. And Katara found her reason to stay as an ambassador to her tribe instead of joining her own partner on his journey and attend his political meetings with him. No one ever cared about her opinion on important matters when she attended. The only one who seemed to treasure her and her advice was Zuko. And when he couldn’t agree in meeting with her because of either personal or political reasons, he was sure to show her physically later that night just how much he valued her.

_They were addicted to each other._

Katara hummed against Zuko's lips, enjoying the passionate kiss between the two of them, feeling one of his hands run amongst her side and tickling her skin. She pressed herself up into his touch, her arms wrapped his neck to pull him in, to drown in everything that was him.

_This needed to stop._

_Aang and Mai didn't deserve this._

Zuko broke the kiss and looked at Katara, his eyes showing the raw emotions sourcing through his body. He couldn't take this anymore and as good as it felt when they started this, how much worse it was making him feel at this point in time. Katara easily read the emotions channeling through her lover's eyes, could see how much everything was hurting him. After all, it was Katara who knew Zuko the best. It has been like this for as long as she could remember, ever since during the war, she was the only one he ever opened up to and showed just how and when he was hurting. Of course she could see. She bit her bottom lip and cupped Zuko's cheek, resting their temples together.

“This will be the last time..” She whispered as his lips were just an inch away. Zuko clenched his jaw but nodded, leaning in to kiss her again, moving his lips against Katara's in smooth motions. He slowly moved from her lips to her neck, leaving small purple-reddish bruises all over the smooth skin. The knowledge of her being able to easily heal them before anyone could see was left hanging in the air. He wanted to place his last traces of him on her. And she wanted to be marked as _his._

Katara tangled her fingers into the long strands of ebony hair he seemed to have grown so fond of, moaning in pleasure when Zuko bit down on a particular sensitive spot. He always knew exactly where all her pleasure points were, it was no match for the actions Aang would perform on her. Aang was no match for _him_.

“Zuko..” Katara's hands raked down Zuko's body, her nails dragging along his muscles, causing the man on top of her to grind against her in content. Zuko groaned against her skin and felt her fingers drag to his chest, ready to push him up and ride him. But Zuko pulled her hands away and pinned them beside her head, stopping her actions.

“Let me this time..” Katara gulped and attempted to break free from his grasp, but he had no intentions of letting go that easily.

_This was going to be the last time._

_He was going to be in control._

Zuko kissed her again, a little rougher than before, already becoming erect and rubbing against the inside of her thigh. It made her squirm underneath his touch, her core heating up with anticipation, the feeling of him against her better than anything else. Katara opened her legs further so Zuko could lay in between them more comfortably, attempting to get more friction between their two naked bodies. He moved to her neck and bit on the juncture to her shoulder, moving further down while he left various marks to match the ones he left just moments ago. He loved making them, seeing her skin colour to his will. She felt like an empty canvas that only he was allowed to taint.

Because he was the only one doing this to Katara. Aang never saw them, because Katara didn’t let him touch her after Zuko did. He knew she never healed the bruises that were in anyone’s line of sight, because he told her not to. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Zuko knew that it wasn't right to feel this possessive about someone who wasn't his, when he was already someone else’s, but his primal urges never left him. Katara ignited a possessiveness and he didn't even try to shut it out.

“A-Ah Zuko..” He loved hearing her low whimpers and moans. He released her wrists, making her able to thread her fingers through his hair and drag her nails across his scalp, making him winch slightly in welcomed discomfort. Maybe that was what Zuko loved about this. They could be as rough as they wanted to. Make Katara beg him to stop until she couldn’t take it anymore. He moved down in an agonizing slow pace, placing a kiss on top of Katara's throbbing center, making the latter gasp in satisfaction and bite her lip. She lifted her hips upwards out of reflex, but Zuko held them down, preventing her from her full pleasure.

_It drove her insane._

Katara grabbed Zuko's hair in annoyance and pushed his head further down, her hips thrusting forward and responding to the intensified sensation. Zuko let out a surprised groan because of the sudden movement, making Katara moan out, the vibrations of the sound sending a whole new sensation through her body.

“Z-Zuko..” Zuko pulled back before she could reach her climax and crawled on top of her again, a smirk on his face as soon he saw Katara's frustrated expression. “Why are you such a-” Her words were abruptly caught with a loud scream, Zuko suddenly pushing two fingers into her opening, having her widen her eyes in shock and her lips to fall open in a silent o. Zuko knew that inserting two fingers at once would feel uncomfortable. He also knew the possibility of Katara not forgiving him for his actions.

_He didn't care._

“Z-Zuko please.. Stop this..” Zuko shook his head and curled up his fingers, making Katara cry out once again. If she really wanted him to stop, she had all the power to do so. And she would never have to use it, as their simple spoken word was enough. They both knew this.

“You know I'll never make love to you..” Zuko whispered into Katara's ear, making her gasp.

“I have someone to make love to already. I'm going to fuck you..” a bite onto his earlobe “until you beg me to stop..” kisses down her neck “remembering this last time and engrave it into your memory.” Katara gulped and nodded, not being able to fully focus on Zuko's words as the latter was still thrusting his digits into her opening, preparing Katara for what he was stating earlier. She could see he was already fully erect and she also knew that seeing her so vulnarable at his mercy is what caused it. 

And that's why she knew that Zuko wasn't lying. She could notice it from the way he was treating him. Zuko was a passionate lover, aggressive when he wanted to - and it turned Katara on more than she would like to admit. She gasped when he started making scissoring movements with his fingers, stretching her in advance but also in attempt to already get her closer to the edge. She dug her nails into Zuko's back as the latter hissed and arched his back, attacking Katara's neck with his lips once again.

They were one mess of hot bodies, sticky and sweaty because of the actions they were performing on each other. When Zuko felt that Katara was prepared enough, he withdrew his fingers and positioned himself in front of her entrance while she looked at him with an almost unreadable expression. It wasn't often that Zuko showed such aggressiveness in having the upper hand and it excited her even more. She saw the glint in Zuko's eyes, that well familiar look that told her he wouldn’t spare her.

Zuko entered her in one quick thrust, Katara's walls taking him in at once and making him groan in delight at the sudden tight heat. She threw her head back into the pillow, tears stinging at her eyes as she held a firm grip on his biceps. She knew he wouldn’t let her adjust, knew she wouldn’t be able to walk afterwards, but it was everything she needed. “P-Please Zuko..-” He didn't wait for her to continue her plea and started thrusting at quite a fast speed, making her cry out once again.

Zuko was angry, yes. But the anger was not what he initially thought. He was angry that Katara was the one who could end this, how she always so selfishly made the decisions for the both of them. He didn't accept that he was angry that he would not be able to hold her anymore - even if it was the truth, he would lie to himself.

“Don't you remember what I said?” He asked the whimpering woman underneath him and continued his thrusts at the pace he was going at. Katara's non responsiveness made Zuko let out a chuckle. He wanted to taint her, make her remember who exactly was the one in control. He ran one hand from her sternum up to her collarbone, resting on a particular dark spot he left before and admiring his work. His motions had slown down slightly, only to prepare her for what was to come.

His fingers slowly travelled up more, his fingers resting on the sides of her windpipe. He hadn’t done this a lot before, but she was always receptive to this, never stopped him from his need to control. Looking into her eyes again and only seeing anticipation made him know it was okay as he slowly put pressure, continuing to fuck into her in a slow but intense way. Her hand enclosed around his wrists, yet there was no sign that it was to stop him, as she closed her eyes with a subtle smile playing on her lips. There was something about him doing this, something about the way she laid her life in his hands in her most vulnerable moment, knowing he was the only one she could ever trust enough to receive this from.

“H-Harder.” The request seemed to have snapped something inside of him, loosening up his grip to slip his hands into her hair. He used it to pull her up until she was flush against him, both sitting up onto their knees. Katara's cheeks were now stained with a trail of half dried up tears, mixed in with sweat that was dripping from Zuko's damp hair. Her facial expression was one mixed of pain, but also anticipation. Zuko felt a tug at the strings of his heart, but reminded himself once again, Katara was not the one he loved. He shouldn't treat her as if he did.

“Katara?” Katara whimpered again as he tightened the grip on her locks.

“I-I remember.. S-Sorry.. But please..” Zuko titled his head to the side, his lips inches away from Katara's while his hair brushed passed her face.

“Please what, Katara?” Katara looked at him through half lidded eyes and gulped down her dignity. She was used to the fast pace now and wanted more. So that was exactly what she was going to ask for.

“Fuck me harder, Zuko.” Her voice was low and steady, the way she stared up through her lashes sending shivers down Zuko's spine. The latter smirked and shook his head, pulling her around so her back rested against his chest. Katara was startled at the sudden movement but couldn’t do much, the back of her head resting on his shoulder as his other hand roamed across her front. He travelled his hand down south, his fingers playing at her folds, like he had all the time in the world to do this. She wriggled her hips, pressing them against him to encourage him to do _anything_. He complied by inserting his fingers once again, knowing that it wasn't enough for her. 

“P-Please..” He chuckled, the low vibration of his voice feeling heavenly against her skin. He placed a kiss on her lips before pulling her down with him, making sure she was on top of him, his length already perfectly positioned for him. She quickly reacted by placing her own weight on her knees so she wouldn't engulf it all at once.

"Ride me." Katara nodded, sliding further down until he was almost fully sheeted into her and took a moment before started to carefully go up and down on Zuko's length, setting a rhythm for herself.

“Katara..” Zuko's voice was stern, meant as a warning. Yet, he didn't wait for a response and he dug his fingers into Katara's hips, forcing her down on his cock harshly. Katara screamed out in surprise as Zuko started to pressure his hips with his hands; forcing Katara to go up and down quicker than she did before. Zuko was sitting up now so she was seated in his lap, just so he could bite down on her neck, sucking on the spot a bit before whispering into her ear.

“Fuck Katara, you're still so tight..” Katara could only throw her head back and moan in response. Zuko hit a certain spot in her, making a slur of incoherent words leave her lips. Zuko himself was getting close too and he pushed Katara down again, lying in the same position they began their little escape with. Zuko started thrusting in and out in an incredible speed, having Katara to helplessly hook her legs behind his back and wrap her arms around his neck.

“Fuck, I'm almost..” Was the last thing Zuko managed to breathe out before releasing inside of her and screaming out her name, sending her over the edge with him. He collapsed on top of her and tried to catch his breath, the both of them staying like that for several minutes before Zuko got up and started dressing himself once again. He couldn’t allow himself to indulge in her, fearing that if he did, he would never be able to leave.

“This really was the last time.” Katara's small voice made Zuko stop in his tracks for a few moments before he resumed dressing himself, his back facing her. He knew she was laying across the sheets, still open to his view and he briefly contemplated joining her once again, telling her that, she couldn’t decide that by herself. Make her remember just how much she needed him too. But instead, he asked her something she wouldn’t anticipate.

"Do you love Aang?" Katara was taken aback by this sudden question. Zuko had never thought to ask this question before, but she was able to recover quite quickly. 

"I do. A lot." Zuko nodded, contemplating if he heard an evident lie in her voice. But for his own sake, he didn’t want to know. He sat on the edge of the bed, keeping his back turned towards her intentionally as he readied himself for what he was about to say. When she wrapped her arms around his neck, her still exposed front pressing against his back, he almost didn’t.

“You know that I won't be able to meet you once I walk out of that door. I’ll meet you as the firelord who meets all his ambassadors.” But he had to. If he didn’t close the door from his side, he was sure he wouldn’t be able to respect her wishes anymore and would selfishly continue pursuing her body and the comfort it provided him with. He let her kiss him one last time, the touch lingering and burning with the unspoken feelings between them.

“The inn has been rented until sunset. Take your time before you leave.” It was his final statement before he left, not looking back at her and closing the bedroom door behind his back, leaving his secret behind him as well.

He made it back to the palace quickly and strode through the halls, his usual imposing stature back in its place. He knocked on his own door in courtesy before opening it, waiting for a response.

“Come in.” The usual emotionless voice at other side of the door now sounding almost happy, a slight anticipation in it, making him feel even worse than he already did. 

“I'm back.” Zuko informed his wife before stepping inside, seeing her with a small smile playing on her lips. She approached him, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her cheek against his chest.

“I missed you. You shouldn’t keep going out of town for those conferences. Villages can do without you.” He froze in her hold, not expecting her usual reserved nature to allow her to even think of missing him.

“I missed you too.” She pulled back, scanning his face for any signs he wasn’t sure she was looking for. He should've known that she was too perceptive of everything. Because was it for the guilt he felt? Was it the knowledge that what he did to Katara was so wrong that he couldn't live with himself? Or was it because the words he said sounded so foreign on his lips when he said them to Mai?

“Mai.”

“Yes?”

“I'm sorry.”

“For what? Zuko, what happened?” Mai's reply was immediate, the fear clearly heard in her voice and it made Zuko's throat clench up that much more.

“I need you to trust me and not ask anything, but I'm promising that what I did will never happen again. Just remember that, I only love you.” He didn't wait for her reply and hugged her close to him, just so she wouldn’t be able to read his face. Just so she wouldn’t see how it hurt him to say that it wouldn’t happen again.

But at least this was the last time.


	2. 2/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you all a happy ending, so that's what I will write. Mostly written from Zuko's POV

2/2

"One more please." Zuko looked at the bartender after downing his sake in one go, sliding his glass towards the man behind the bar without looking at him. The bartender wordlessly poured him another glass. "Just put it on my tab." This time, Zuko took his time to sip from the strong beverage, savouring the alcohol in his mouth.

He used to always stop by this particular bar before meeting up with her, to cleanse himself of his title, to make himself the man meeting his lover in a bar where no one knew him, knew of his responsibilities. Where he could just sit with his hood covering all his notable features without being disturbed and pretended to be one of the civilians he was supposed to lead. But now, he tried to burn away the thast of her. Not just her lips, but _everything_. How her muscles would flex underneath his touch, how her nails would rake across his back when he would drill into her mercilessly time and time again - how she sighed his name into his ear over and over. “ _Z-Zuko.”_

_Katara._

It had been seven months since he last saw her. Mai eventually stopped asking Zuko why his conferences were less frequent, camouflaging it as simply taking on her complaint of him being away for too long. He told her the local ambassadors could take over locally for him. He used the weak excuse of not having to stay overnight because the old townsmen would go on without talking about anything relevant and saw the arrival of the firelord as an excuse to consume themselves in expensive liquor. It was a good explanation to why he would smell like alcohol himself when he got home, or when he would have to stay over because he ended up drinking too much and wasn’t in a state to come back to the palace.

Mai was more susceptible then Zuko she thought she was. He had never changed his schedule for her to fit her needs before, so why would he do it now? Maybe she did know there was a different reason but chose to ignore it for the sake of her own mental state. That would be most likely knowing her. She also noticed that he seemed to not meet the watertribe ambassador personally anymore, which was rare as Mai knew how close they have always been. Katara, after all, was the one ensuring Zuko’s fight for the throne. When she asked Zuko about her, he would tell her that they had a fight and he would let his advisors handle her in the oncoming future. Another blatant lie. He has never fought with Katara after the war in the first place, and even if they did, Zuko would fuck her senseless until she apologized. Because that was how they worked. That was how they always worked – since before the war ended and their responsibilities came to them. 

Katara and Zuko noticed a crucial change in their relationship, in how they saw each other when he had accompanied her to avenge her mother. Katara had shown a side to him so vulnerable, so _ugly_ , she was sure she would drive him away. She didn’t expect him to take her shaking form in his arms and kiss away her pain. She didn’t expect herself to initiate more and him to be the first to ever make her his. She never thought the prince of the nation she hated so much be able to give her a new sense of comfort. Take away her pain his nation had caused her.

It continued because it worked. _They_ worked. And if the Avatar wasn’t set on having the chieftain’s daughter as his partner and if the fire nation would be able to have accepted anything other than a noble as their fire lady, they might’ve had a different outcome. But before all of the responsibilities dawned on them, they got curious and curiosity pulled them into a situation neither of them realized its importance of before it was too late. And when they did realize it, they couldn't stop. So they an agreement to stop after the war had ended. 

Then Mai came back. She was everything his nation needed, perfect as a chosen wife. She told him she was waiting for him, jokingly said she would not accept him breaking up with him again. And after she was crowned his wife, she told him she loved him and was happy to be with him.

Zuko never was the receiver of a heartfelt confession before. He never had someone that gave him the security that Mai gave him. But somehow, he always felt empty with her by his side. Whenever he would talk with her, his mind would wander off to any issue he still had to resolve. And when at night, when she was in his arms after a stressful day, there was no fire in her touches. He loved her as it was his duty. And for a long time, Zuko was positive that he really did.

Katara told him she decided to point her affection towards someone else too. And that someone else made Zuko realize later on why he had always disliked him so much. There was something about him, something that told him that Aang wouldn’t be the person Katara could rely on. Zuko believed that Aang was not the person she needed. But Katara told Zuko that she liked him – loved him even. Who was he to deny her his romance based on a simple intuitive thought? When he couldn’t – wouldn’t – allow himself to feel for her what Aang felt and take his place instead.

Yet, he could never help himself from feeling sick to his stomach anytime he would witness Aang's affection towards Katara. See him openly affectionate and cuddle her in public when he was never able to. Feel his insides churn at the sole thought of him touching Katara in ways he used to do, to have the possibility to pursue her like she deserved to be pursued. He could never admit to those thoughts, because he had Mai now. He couldn't have these feelings he knew that went beyond friendship, so he kept on denying them. Kept telling himself that, it was impossible to love her.

_But bottling everything up caused him to make a mistake._

Mai had to visit her parents in Omashu and Zuko was left with his thoughts for that night. It wasn't that late in the evening, just pressing against eight yet it was already dark outside due to the slowly nearing winter months. He strolled around his palace garden, which was empty as the palace knew he liked his privacy around this hour. So naturally, he wouldn’t expect a dark figure sitting against his favourite tree, knees up in front of her as her arms were wrapped around them, her face hiding in the small space she created. Something was off. The blue tone in her clothes, the dark mop of hair cascading in curls down her arms and shielding her made him realize who exactly it was and he didn't know how quickly he had to approach her.

"Katara?" She looked up from her position, her eyes already swollen from crying. She parted her lips to respond to him, but only heavy sobbing escaped her, choked breaths filling the otherwise silent garden. Zuko always had nick for reacting to Katara as fast as he humanly could.

"Tell me what's wrong." He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, yet Katara didn't react. Instead, her face contorted in pain, a look on her perfect features that made Zuko's heart clench.

"Aang-" She cut herself off with a loud choke, gripping onto her knees while one hand went up to cover her mouth, not reacting when Zuko brushed her hair from one side of her face and tugged it behind her ear. “Never mind. I-It’s not important..” He frowned, cupping her face in his hands and turning her towards her.

“Everything that makes you feel this way, is important to me.” She took a deep breath, not noticing the implication his words brought along with those words.

“H-He always does this. Everytime I want to give my opinion on something, he shuts me out. He doesn’t take me seriously. When I speak up in a meeting, he silences me. He doesn’t see me as an equal. Sometimes I feel like, he doesn’t even love me. I-It hurts Zuko.” He felt his heart break. But Zuko has never been good with words, so he just showed her.

"Come here." Before Katara could react, Zuko pulled her into his lap so she sat sideways, tucking her head in the crook of his. Her hands were neatly folded in her own lap and tears escaped her eyes yet again, Zuko's arms wrapping around her even tighter to keep her close. He let her cry to her heart’s content, running one hand through her hair in comfort. “Do you feel better?” She offered him a weak smile, one that didn’t reach her eyes and it pained him, to see them without the life they always captured. And he felt as if it was his duty to bring it back.

“You are smart, beautiful, equal or even above everyone else in every single way. If Aang can’t see that, it is his loss and his loss alone.” It was evident that she wasn’t prepared for his words, looking up into his eyes. He could see that hers had regained their spark, yet they were searching his for something he couldn’t quite figure out until his gaze searched for the same. She was quiet, so quiet he could feel the heart beat in her chest. Or was it his own? Either way, it made him aware of the proximity, the edge to his words, the feelings deep inside of him that were on the brink of escaping. So he tried to silence himself with her lips instead.

The touch was familiar yet a new rush found its way into his veins, the fire he missed for so long back in his body as he pulled her frame against him. She kissed him back without hesitation, her hands resting on his chest as her fingers wound into the fabric of his tunic and pulled him closer. And who was he to deny her, when her lips glided across his in soft but sure strokes. It didn’t take long for him to deepen the kiss, before his body began responding to her in different ways he forgot he could feel. In that moment he realized that, maybe the comfort wasn’t just for her alone. That night, Zuko held Katara close to him, cherished her like she needed to be cherished, touched her like she deserved to be touched – with love. He never told her the words he had always kept to himself, but made sure to kiss every part of her body, to place gentle kisses amongst the line of her neck and down her chest. To whisper her name softly, "Katara. You look so beautiful like this."

But Katara chose to stay with Aang and Zuko would never leave Mai. She continued to feel anxious and insecure. And hearing Zuko's voice was just a few palace rooms or the request from a servant away. And unlike Aang, he would always come running. He would always. But slowly, Katara's anxiety got less and Zuko was aware of this. The bond between friends was slowly fading, taking place for a physical relationship, one that was different from the first time they started it. There was no talk about their lives, no sharing of mutual interests like before, no comfort in either's touches. It really came to the physical and that alone. Zuko thought it was an easier way to rid himself of his feelings for her and began to see the benefits for himself as well. Mai always needed him to take control and she laid there, needed him to make the effort. It was always him. But Katara knew how he liked it, that he too sometimes needed to be handled with a certain edge.

_Because she didn't love him return and he stopped himself from loving her._

So why could Zuko never get enough of her? Why, after not seeing her for seven months, would he still feel a craving for those sinfully skilled lips? To hear her call out to him with either a bright smile or a broken voice. _"Zuko."_ It still wasn't erased from his memories, but he would be certain to at least try.

"Zuko?" And he grimaced to himself, not only imagining Katara, but also hearing her in his mind. Yet, another pleading call of his name and a feather light touch on his arm made him turn to the culprit, eyes widening. "How much did you drink that you didn't even hear me?" Her tone was unnecessarily playful, trying to make light of the situation. She didn’t expect him to show up at this bar and still take the risk of being discovered. But Zuko shrugged Katara's hand off, the touch burning through his skin and making him feel like his throat was closing. He couldn't breathe with her this close to him, not when he was trying everything within his power to forget about her.

"Go home." But Katara didn't. She sat down next to Zuko just a tad to close, smiling at the bartender with an innocent one, pretending that the other didn't just vocally made it known to her to get lost from his sight. As if she was an eyesore. Katara knew him better than that.

"Can I have some sake please?" It didn't take long for Katara to get her drink. And just as she suspected, his gaze lingered on her for a while in contemplation before he finally spoke up.

"You never drink sake." She smiled at her glass, taking a big gulp from her drink and trying to control her expression to not show her disgust for the drink before she looked at Zuko.

"You do." By the way she held his gaze, he could see that there was a lot more to that comment, a lot he didn't understand yet. But before he could question it, Katara set her glass back on the table absentmindedly drawing the tip of her fingers across the rim of her glass. "How's Mai?"

"I don't know." And now it was Zuko's turn to take another gulp from his drink. "Our marriage was dissoluted a few weeks ago." And this caused Katara to still her movements. Never would she expect them to part ways and even through the silence, Zuko still knew her too well to know that the silent ‘Why?’ hung thick in the air. So he continued. “She couldn’t conceive. My advisors would not accept an infertile firelady.” His tone was so monotonous, so uncaring it scared her. But she told herself not to let it show.

"Why wasn’t this announced?" 

“They are still contemplating on my marriage. They want me to marry outside of my nation, to make a political bond strong.” Katara’s heart lurged at those words, a strange tinge of misplaced hope spreading through her chest. But for the sake of herself, she chose to ignore it.

"Let me rephrase that. Why haven’t you told me?"

“Because you still have Aang.” It was in a way entertaining that Zuko immediately thought that Katara asked because she wanted to continue their impure relationship. It made her smile bitterly, asking herself quietly why their almost ten-year-old relationship came to be just physical for him when not of it has been that way for her. But she could never tell him that.

"Aang doesn't only have me to think of." And Zuko got reminded of how badly she was being treated by her significant other, eyes now boring into the side of Katara's skull.

"Then, why stay with him? You have the freedom to do so. You are not bound to him by law." Zuko thought it was funny, how he was requesting for Katara's leave before but was now urging her to talk and answer questions that were only meant for people who were close, who shared their deepest, darkest secrets with each other. They stopped doing that for a long time now, before they stopped meeting.

"I thought about leaving him a few times, I really did. But I didn't want to be alone. Not when I didn't have you by my side anymore. At least he came home after a while and took care of me. At least he looked my way when you didn't." Zuko's anger about the issue only worsened, how nonchalantly Katara was answering his questions, yet held a mysterious undertone he didn't understand. And that she wasn't giving him even one look made him all the more agitated.

"You were the one who stopped us and in turn I told you my conditions. You've known. You've known before we stopped-" fucking each other again behind our partners' back. But the words wouldn't leave Zuko's mouth. They just couldn't. Instead, he forced himself to calm down. "You've known Katara." But Zuko wasn't prepared for the hardened look that spread across Katara's face.

"I was trying to prevent us both from hurting and you know that. You chose to abandon our ten year old friendship. Even though you knew there was something wrong with my relationship. Because you've had Mai and I was one last thing to worry about.” Zuko tried to speak up, but it was clear that Katara wouldn’t let him. She continued speaking, an accusatory finger poking into his chest as she glared into his eyes. “Don't pretend that you didn't, because you did. I've know you were aware of it before we happened again. You were easy to read whenever you were around him." That wasn't true. That's not why he didn't tell Katara. "Wasn't it easier for you that I found someone too? One less thing to worry about, wasn't it? You were probably just hoping that I would never find out so you didn’t have to deal with my needy self anymore." And she slammed some money on the bar, not looking at the bartender but having her eyes trained on Zuko instead. And the latter hated how the last look Katara gave him was out of loathing.

"I've always been alone. Ever since the war ended, I've been alone. Aang might not deem me as important, but he never abandoned me like you did. He is not the one who hurt me." And she was gone from his side, leaving Zuko to think about her words and their truth behind them. He watched as Katara stormed out of the bar and bit his lower lip, eyes stinging at her words. Everything Katara said, it had another meaning to it. Every look she sent him, every stab she tried to expertly jab in between his ribs. Katara could have her impure moments, but she never deliberately tried to hurt anyone who wasn’t worth receiving it. It was all his fault and he needed to set this straight. That was the first time that he realized that she was right. It wasn't Aang that damaged Katara. It was him.

He imitated her actions and paid the flustered man behind the bar before he got up and exited the bar. It was in the middle of a pouring way, obstructing his view a bit, but despite that he franticly looked around him and his eyes fell on a figure across the street. There, he could see her stand below a closed store’s pent, holding her arms around her own frame, rain pouring down on to him. Katara never bothered with seasonably appropriate garments as the firenation at its coldest was better than the poles at their warmest, but her flimsy excuse of clothing this time did nothing for her. 

Zuko forced himself to move, crossing the abandoned street and standing next to Katara, keeping his gaze on the bar now at the other side of the street. They stood in silence for minutes, Katara just staring at her own feet and Zuko straight ahead of him. Her shoulders began to shake, choked sobs leaving her lips albeit muffled and camouflaged due to the pouring rain. But Katara liked it. It meant her tears couldn't be seen. Zuko let her cry, waited for her to calm down yet not daring to pull her into his arms and going against all instincts.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"You can’t go back to the palace like this. You’ll get a cold."

"I don’t care." Katara did, but she wasn't going to tell Zuko that. 

"The inn is close." 

"I know." 

"Just come back with me until the rain stops. I don’t want you to get sick." And Katara thought, 'I'm already sick.', but ultimately held it in. "At least stay until the rain stops." When he moved, she didn’t. So he enclosed his hand around her wrist, pulling her with him silently. Katara ended up curled up on the room’s couch, blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a cup of tea in her hands Zuko had requested from the innkeeper before. 

She tried to ignore it when Zuko entered the room too, using a hand towel to dry his hair and let it rest on his shoulders after. Zuko didn't seem as affected by the cold as Katara, but he always liked his garments to be weather efficient. His firebending abilities also helped with that.

He approached her, staying silent and realized he wouldn’t get the shivering girl to talk. So he did the next best thing he knew to comfort her. Katara widened her eyes when warm hands wrapped around her ice cold feet, trying to pull them away. Zuko tightened his grip without looking at her, slightly warming his hands with his bending to prevent the undercooled feeling from spreading even more.

"Just stay still. I know that you hate having cold feet." So Katara let him, bringing the mug to her lips and quietly sipping from the hot beverage. It was silent for a while before he spoke up again. "Why aren't you asking for the reason I didn’t try to stay with Mai?" Katara clenched her jaw to keep herself from lashing out once again.

"Why should I ask you? You told me in the bar. And because you obviously didn’t deem me as important to tell me." Zuko smiled bitterly. He indeed implied that.

"I wanted to tell you. But I didn’t want to if Aang was still important to you. Because you are after all this time, still-"

"Nothing. You and him both see me as nothing." And Zuko dropped his hold, locking his eyes with ice cold ones. "We were something that wasn't supposed to happen. A mistake during the war, yet we continued. We stopped, so now, I am nothing to you anymore. I am your past. Please regard me as that and forget about me." Katara was confused by the sad smile forming on Zuko's features, sitting up on his knees and leaning his hands on her thighs. Katara ignored the warm feeling spreading through her chest at the gentle touch and even softer look on the fire lord's features. 

"Yet, here you are. In my present once again." And Katara looked at her mug once again, not being able to hold the gaze so loving, so sincere. It made her hope in a way she didn't want to anymore. 

"The present will become the past again eventually." Her words were mumbled, yet Zuko could perfectly hear them.

"But the future can always be created. And the past that you are in is something I would never want to forget." And his hand went up to Katara's cheek, warm palm resting against it. "And I want you in my future. For always." They both held their breath, Zuko’s silent confession hanging thick in the air. Yet, Katara wouldn’t get her hopes up, she needed this confirmed.

"What do you mean?"

"The reason I didn’t fight to keep being with her is because of you." And that's when Katara looked Zuko in the eyes, expression shocked and thoroughly confused. Zuko couldn't blame her. "If I truly loved her, I would never be able to touch you like I did. I though that, she just couldn't satisfy me sexually and you.. We always worked. But why is it, that whenever I saw you with Aang I felt like throwing up? That whenever I talked about someone else, it would be you instead of Mai. At that time when my marriage was decided.. I just never had someone to tell me they loved me. Without realizing what I always had, I went for something new. I knew that what I have always felt for you was not allowed, so I pretended it wasn't there even though I knew it was. And that eventually caught up to me. I kept myself awake for so many nights ever since I told you I didn't want to see you anymore, Katara. Because I came to the realization that I-" Zuko was never able to finish his words. Maybe because he was too caught up in his self-loathing, maybe because his throat felt like it constricted and he was drawn from all air around him. Or maybe it was because Katara had craddled his face, successfully pressing their lips together in a tight lip lock. The kiss became as intense as they were used to from each other quickly and following his old instincts, Zuko rose from his crouched down position and took his placed on the couch next to her, all the while engaging in the intense kiss. Katara took it upon herself to attempt to push Zuko down onto the couch, to press gentle and loving kisses amongst the line of his neck. And Zuko stopped her. 

"If we're going to keep doing this, I want it to be only me."

"You know Aang almost never touches me anymore. He stopped it for a long time now." Zuko could see the clear confusion in her eyes, smiling at her gently and cupping her cheeks.

"No. Leave Aang for me." And the realization of everyone began to slowly seep into the other's brain, eyes starting to water and a careful smile making its way to her lips.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that, my new marriage has to be outside of the fire nation. You are a chieftain’s daughter and therefor, eligible to marry the fire lord.”

“I-I have been with the Avatar. People know, I am not a pure woman.” He smiled at her gently.

“Even if people don't know that I was the first one who took your purity, our nation is not as close minded as you think. You have never been wed before and have never produced any children, so that’s not a problem. My advisors have already proposed you as it is, which is the reason I haven't told you yet. I didn't want you to force yourself to be with me if you chose to be happy with Aang. You don't have to be scared of not being accepted.”

"Are you saying that.." Zuko nodded, sliding his hands to the back of Katara's neck and thread his fingers to the messy locks.

"I love you, Katara. Only you and I always had." And that was all it took for Katara to finally break. She buried her face into the elder's neck, weight leaning fully on him while her arms wound around his neck. Zuko's found their way around Katara's frame as well, allowing the younger to keep him in a crushing embrace. He owed her that much. He wasn't surprised for the sobs to escape the other's lips and kissed the crown of her head, whispering soothing words into her ears until he calmed down. Until he himself calmed down as well. Why did he deny himself his own happiness for all these years? Why did he hurt Katara like this all these years? And why didn't he realise that he always loved Katara until he was out of his reach?

“So is that a yes?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.”

“Good, because I was scared that I had to marry either Toph or your brother and I am not sure what would’ve been worse.” She sniffled, but a laugh sounded through the air and she leaned her temple to his.

“Definitely Toph.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo I hope you guys enjoyed this? This was a complete rewrite and it actually took me a hell of a lot longer to do when I write stories from scratch. But it all fitted Zutara so perfectly I couldn't resist. 
> 
> This is basically an excuse to write kinky Zutara going at it. I always want to write porn without plot, but we always end up here huh.
> 
> Please leave your honest thoughts in the comments! I always reply and I love reading them.


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